THE PINK PANTHER (2006 REMAKE) - Film Review 18/3/06

Saw the trailer for this and although amusing didn't think the film would be that entertaining and boy was I wrong. It was absolutely dire! After getting into the cinema and finding our seat's the guy next to me on the left was absolutely pissing himself with laughter, the tears were running down his cheeks, he leant forward guffawing and slapping the armrests and took another slurp of his bucket size Coke and HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- and carried on and so forth. Unfortunately this was only the adverts and the film hadn't even started yet so this guy in his forties wipes his eyes and settles down. One can only think that a group of Hollywood Execs and Money-Men had decided to churn out another Pink Panther film having got their hands on the property and get some much needed cash into their coffers and which comedian would sink low enough to do it? Start it off with the original film theme tune and bung in a few cartoon titles and instant cash-cow - Much like the original series kept churning out. I mean does the world really need another Pink Panther film?? The film starts and my was it painful - so painful - that Steve Martin (Who did the screenplay) should take a host of Peter Seller's work and basically mangle it. I was never that fond of The Pink Panther Series or Peter Sellers (except for "Being There") but this was truely awful - excruciating in fact - I felt embarrassed watching it. I'm afraid that Jean Reno had wandered in from another film because he looked fairly bewildered by what was going on and I can only presume Kevin Kline had some bills to pay and this would cover the cheque. Beyonce Knowles probably needed another credit on her resume and thankfully Clive Owen's cameo as 006 was at least a saving grace for him as he was uncredited. Which lead's me onto the trailer: If you watch a trailer you expect it to advertise the film your going to watch, why then did this trailer have a scene in it that wasn't in the final film? A glass-cutting sequence that was actually funnier than some of the scenes in the film was used in the trailer but wasn't in the final cut - Why use it as advertising? Horrible! Absolutely horrible!! Guy to the left then get's up 20 minutes into the film and stepping on toes and banging knees need's to go to the toilet after Round 10 of big-slurp from bargain-bucket Coke which was a nuisance because it disturbed the film watching which actually came as a relief. Martin's parody of the Clouseau character drags the whole bumbling idiot routine through the mill and then suddenly out of nowhere in the last 10 minutes goes from moron to super-cop explaining the complete plot with intelligent observations and nuances without even blinking a comedy eyelid. Totally unbelievable! That this garbage should get a cinema showing and other quality films get put on the back-burner is truely disgraceful. This film was a total waste of time and I'm sorry but a couple of chuckles, a wry smile and a titter, do not a good comedy film make.