SEX TREK: THE NEXT PENETRATION (DVD Review) - 1/6/09

This ropey old DVD stretches back to 1999. It has butt-ugly blokes with mullet haircuts and awful mustaches with hairy bristled chest hair and skanky rough women with an attitude to match. As a parody of Star Trek it was so successful it spawned 4 sequels with titles like: "Sex Trek II: The Search For Sperm" and "Sex Trek III: The Wrath Of Bob" and it's excruciatingly painful to watch. Captain Quirk turns to Lieutenant Uwhore and says 'Let's probe Uranus' to which she replies 'yEW! whattttttt!!!!!' and he responds 'I'm talking about the planet we're currently orbiting Uwhore'. Unluckily enough it happens to be the planet of the asshole people who can appear as anything they like but strangely want hot lesbian love. Sex parodies are currently flooding the market and everytime I see the title for 'The Da Vinci Code' which some wag has re-titled 'The Da Vinci Load' it always makes me laugh. 'Sex Trek: The Next Penetration' is so godawful you cannot not laugh from the dull sex scenes & atrocious acting, to the 'Special Effects' like having a dildo for a spaceship strung up with 2 clearly visible wires. If only I could get hold of a copy of 'Deep Space 69' now, with the guy dressed as a borg with an unusual implement and the guy with the badly stuck on Ferengi ears?


You don't even want to see the Gallery on this DVD which seems to consist of all the 'actors' genitalia in close-up scene-by-scene. Ewww! Beef curtains............