DOOMSDAY Film Review - 29/7/08

Director Neil Marshall (He of "The Descent" & "Dog Soldiers" fame) pulls out a convoluted mix of homages to a variety of films from the 7o's/80's in the shape of "Doomsday". Bunging in a pile of references to a heap of films from that period but none more so than "Mad Max" and "Escape From New York". After the dire "Resident Evil: Extinction" Mad Max plot I was really worried about "Doomsday" but even though it isn't a great film it's a better B-Movie then "Escape From L.A." ever was!

It's 2035 and the corrupt government of the time (Aren't they all?) have a deadly virus on their hands hitting Glasgow - they seal Scotland off and leave the inhabitants to die. Thirty years later the virus re-appears again in London so a desperate mission to find a cure is launched. Sending a military squad into Scotland secretly they hope to return with some sort of salvation for mankind. Violence galore ensues as the rapidly dwindling squad try to get out alive with the cure until betrayed (surprisingly) by aforesaid corrupt government. Squishy in several places.

THE MOTHER OF TEARS (La Terza Madre) - Film Review 28/7/08

I had caught the Trailer for this film awhile back and it stirred my imagination some what. Directed by Italian Horror-Maestro Dario Argento "La Terza Madre" (The Mother Of Tears) AKA "The Mother Of Tears: The Third Mother" is the proverbial unmitigated steaming pile of . . . . This tawdry tits & arse mess is so ramshackle it's hard to keep up? The nonsensical story (If there is one?) literally jumps from scene to scene with little understanding of what is going on and the editing is so abrupt it jars on the teeth. The gothic soundtrack is totally unnecessary and gets louder and more grating on the ears and does nothing to enhance the film in anyway - just getting more annoying as it drones on. Eyes get gouged out, throats sliced open and even a really distasteful scene later on; no doubt added for "shock" value. Udo Kier ("Blade") crops up as a doolally priest spitting out pithy epithets before getting sliced up into dog chow. Trailer good - Film crap.

Workers discover a coffin outside the bounds of a cemetery with an urn attached. The local Priest sends it to the Rome Museum and research assistants there unknowingly release the powers of a dormant Black Witch. Cue a goth resurgence as Sisters Of Mercy fans run wild in the streets with makeup sliding down there faces as everyone else goes loony amidst the chaos. Luckily the research assistant just happens to be the daughter of a White Witch and pulls a broom out of her arse and saves the day!

THE RUINS Film Review - 25/7/08

Years ago around the 1950's they produced films like this. They were called B-Movies and on a double-feature you would get the B-Movie first and that would lead into the better (supposedly) Main Feature. Starting off quite well as B-Movie's do, you then get to the finale when the monster is revealed and you would then laugh at how awful it was. In "The Ruins" we get the same sort of thing. After a gang of teenagers traipse out to a Mayan temple off the beaten track with a German friend in tow things really fall apart after the sheer scale of boredom when nothing much happens. Chuck in some gore, screaming & shouting with the obligatory silly ending - and there you have it - An hour and a half of your life wasted! Expect it on some crappy cable channel late at night in about a year's time if not sooner and then totally forgotten about.

THE DARK KNIGHT Film Review - 25/7/08

Here's hoping Director Christopher Nolan is aboard for the next Batman film as "The Dark Knight" breaks new ground all the way! From the explosive start of the film it just goes careering out of control as The Joker (Heath Ledger) actually makes you feel that Gotham City is really in danger and his manic performance and his subtle gestures and tone of voice make you realise how unstable the character of The Joker is. Not only does this film feel life-like it has taken on a reality of it's own. Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent goes from one side of the coin to the other (Literally!) but I feel a mask instead of CGI would have been better. Running at over two & a half hours this film doesn't have a wasted minute to spare and crams in a visual feast with a large portion of hard moral decisions that people have to make for good or bad. The whole movie is a stunning retrospective of quality film making and I really need to get hold of one of the film's posters on a Quad.

After the near destruction of Gotham City in "Batman Begins" we return a year later to find the thieves on the run from Batman with no place to hide and not just in Gotham! Enter The Joker who has a deck of cards stacked against the city and him gunning for anyone that takes his fancy? Chief Gordon, DA Harvey Dent, the Mayor, Batman all fall into his sights. Unbeknownst to us though The Joker is no fool and has a clear set of plans within all the chaos he has created and the tide turns in his favour .... or does it?

STARGATE CONTINUUM (DVD Review) - 24/7/08

This little gem is shining fiercely amongst the current dross out there at the moment. Far superior to the previous film "Stargate The Ark Of Truth" and even though re-running some previous plot threads from other Stargate adventures "Stargate Continuum" rounds off the ten-year legacy of Stargate SG-1 with a cracker of a finish. With a host of special appearances (and sadly in particular Don S. Davis as General Hammond) we get a time travel/alternate time-line plot with some spectacular action along the way. With supposedly the G'oauld threat finally extinguished we get a familiar feel to this feature film as though it has come from any era of the Stargate SG-1 history/back-story. Anymore detail than that would further spoil the story but it's a great finish with a number of surprises.

With the Special Features putting some context to the filming, we get a "Making Of..." plus "Filming In The Arctic" feature. An Audio Commentary, some trailers and a dull "Time Travel" feature. Language (Audio) English 5.1. Dolby & French/Spanish Dolby Surround. CC Captioned with Subtitles in English/Spanish. Widescreen 1.78:1 Colour. Runtime: 98 Mins. Region 1 NTSC. Not Rated. Fox/MGM 2008.

WALL.E Film Review - 13/7/08

Visually stunning with fantastic landscapes and photo realistic stylizations Pixar's astonishing creativity literally goes stratospheric with this tale of a cleaning robot stuck on Earth to clean up the mess left behind after the human race has departed. Several hundred years later a robot probe returns and this kick-starts the whole adventure. Unfortunately with the large gap without dialogue had me bored within about 20 minutes and to be perfectly honest it just isn't that funny. I was more amused by all the trailers run for "WALL.E" than the actual film itself! Technically it is brilliant but I found it very sterile. Even the villain of the piece AUTO is played by a text-to-speech program called MacIn Talk and has obvious overtones of HAL from "2001" with a measure of Maximilian from Disney's "The Black Hole". The story pushes a very good message though - Humans are slobs and we are destroying the planet with multi-national corporations helping. Still along with Pixar's recent "Ratatouille" this film story-wise did not move me - No laughs and no emotion.

WALL.E the Earth's last cleaning robot meets a robot probe called EVE and after returning to the spaceship AXIOM fights off a horde of robots with the help of another group of robots with their own odd traits. Helping overthrow AUTO the ship's pilot they help a group of humans to return to Earth to start anew.

KUNG FU PANDA Film Review - 7/7/08

I saw the trailer for this months back with the annoying Jack Black jumping all over the screen telling us about his latest movie - I was just about to turn it off when it segued perfectly into Dreamworks latest animated tale and was so glad I had not switched off! Now after viewing it's become an add-on to my BUY it DVD List. With a mix of humour and a slight tone of drama we get the story of a slacker and a bunch of pompous heroes. Both get reflected for what they truly are in a showdown with the villain at the end of the film. More a weaving of threads of stories twisted into a whole; we get a "Believe In Yourself" cliche but although trite, is done with such good fun the retread formula does not matter. Sheer exuberance all the way - this is definitely worth seeing - and after a couple of blips from previous Dreamworks features this is back on track at last. Enjoy the adventure thrills that gradually unfold before your eyes.

Po is a waster Panda with dreams whilst the group of heroes he worships have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. When a vicious prisoner escapes from jail bent on vengeance on the peaceful valley that shunned him, Po and the other heroes band together to bring the fearsome villain down.

FUTURAMA: THE BEAST WITH A BILLION BACKS (DVD Review) - 6/7/08

With the second of the four Futurama films just released we can expect "Bender's Game" in November 2008 following with "The Wild Green Yonder" in April 2009. So what do we get with the Region 2 (UK) version of "Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs"? Well we seem to have lost some of the Special Features from the US advance listing and what we do get is pretty poor, the cover is a homage including the title; of a typical fifties B-Movie schlock horror with it's own Futurama twist to it and a rather woefully underwhelming feature story to boot! Although a lot of people moaned about "Bender's Big Score" I was happy to see Futurama back and enjoyed it. This time around I found a handful of laugh out loud gags but felt disappointed in the overall scheme of things. But this isn't a criticism - I'd rather watch a duff episode of Futurama than none at all and still found much enjoyment in all the little touches (That if you blink you will miss them) in the background and listen carefully to the soundtrack as well; as there are a number of musical jokes as well. On further viewing I'm certain that my frame of mind will change and that I'll grow to like this version of Futurama as much as any other. On the Special Features side you get an extra 3-D Futurama episode (Sort Of?) with Storyboard Animatics and Deleted Scenes. A David Cross Featurette and Bloopers. With 3-D Models and A Brief History Of Deathball Featurette plus a sneak peak at "Bender's Game" which seems to be a piss-take of Lord Of The Rings.