QUANTUM OF SOLACE Film Review - 30/10/08

As a hard-core Bond fan having watched all the James Bond films on the big screen since 1974's "The Man With The Golden Gun" I was lucky enough to get tickets for the Bond Premiere and eagerly awaited the continuing success after "Casino Royale" with the return of Daniel Craig in "Quantum Of Solace". Taking my seat for the performance and starting with a rather short but riveting car chase as the opener it then slid like a sack of shit straight down to the bottom of the cess-pit! A caterwauling Alicia Keys mangled the title tune (If you can call it that!) against the horrendous title sequence. By the end of the film I realised I had not been watching a Bond film at all - Apart from a promising roof-top chase and some later action sequences the story (Which was all over the place) seemed rather cobbled together and in some sections really slow. If you interpret the re-fashioning of Bond going on here it seems that a lot of the loyal audience will fall by the wayside. Even the lack lustre poster which usually has fast cars, women, villains and explosions is missing - With just a sedate pose from the leads looking more desolate than anything. Vast gaps in this new reality change of Bond leave so many things unanswered that by the end not only will you be bewildered - But bloody annoyed! You also have scenes played out against different backdrops with the action going on in two locations at the same time - Extremely irritating! Technically it is flawless - But it isn't a Bond film and comes over as a gritty thriller and nothing else and not much of a good one at that. I expected a revamped formula but unfortunately thrillers these days are now ten a penny!

Kicking off more or less after the end of "Casino Royale" Bond interrogates his suspect and things suddenly go awry - Catching onto some new leads he finds himself heading around some choice locations throughout the world (In a something and nothing manner) has a couple of dust-ups amidst the sinister shenanigans of the Quantum Organisation and then the plot peters out. A major disappointment!!

TAKEN Film Review - 27/10/08

I knew nothing about this film apart from seeing a 2-page poster advert and a small review in Empire magazine that once upon a time was actually worth reading - It's more a case of picking out the few and far best bits now! Having read the totally negative review it made me even more determined to watch the film. Combined with the strength of Liam Neeson and a script from Luc Besson it couldn't be that bad - Could it? Strangely enough it wasn't - Neeson's character has his daughter kidnapped and tells the kidnapper on the end of the phone to release her and he won't pursue the matter. He is ignored and then true to his word he cuts a swathe through corrupt officials and drug-dealing lowlife to hunt his daughter down - Taking no prisoners he metes out his own justice until he finally reaches his daughter and saves her. Simple thriller action story with lots of gunplay - It's amazing what you can do with two 6" nails and a couple of crocodile clips?

SEV TREK: PUS IN BOOTS (DVD Review) - 26/10/08

Very scant information is available on this DVD and getting hold of a copy is like finding 'Hen's teeth' - I only came across it by accident on eBay and had to import it in from Australia. No doubt the great fist of Paramount came crashing down and obliterated it. Not only is the mimicry spot on (If you will forgive the pun) the classic Next Generation cliches are all brought to the fore as well as previous Trek outings. In fact the whole shebang must have infuriated Paramount as scene by scene the pisstake continues from the sets, costumes and all. Even the DVD cover is a rip-off of the film poster series and there are also a nice pile of extras added from the original hand-drawn cartoon to production sketches and animation comparison's. If you like comedy and it's also a reflection on one of your favourite TV shows this would be for you (If you can find it of course?) Commander Piker of the Sevship Enterforaprize develops a sentient zit which escapes and is pursued around the ship by the crew followed by witty one-liners and a gratuitous space battle whilst numerous Red Shirt Ensigns get it in the neck - A cracking 3D animated parody!

BABYLON AD Film Review - 12/10/08

This piece of cobblers has so many inherent faults it would be hard to list them all! This dreary action film has a story so thin a light gust of wind would blow it away. One minute action film then the next hi-concept sci-fi? Why are all dystopian futures portrayed as shit? Coming across as mildly egocentric Russian at the start, the story (As it is?) transfers to the States. A handful of action sequences dispersed amongst the dull & plodding plotline end up with a really dead-end farcical ending. Really cannot understand why such a top notch cast ended up in this drivel? The interwoven plot with all it's flaws is so slight it will have you gasping at how trite this codswallop is. Which begs the questions - Is there a really good film here waiting to emerge? Did the Studio butcher it? Was it cut badly by the Director's Production Crew? Who knows? Vin plays a mercenary who has to deliver a young girl across the border - Add various fights and gunplay - Two opposing factions want the girl - More fights/gunplay - Silly ending.

DEATH RACE {2008} Film Review - 12/10/08

The original "Death Race 2000" was the sort of film that got whispered about with baited breath usually in connection with other films of the era like "Rollerball". Seeing it many years ago on an old VHS tape made me realise just how good the original compares to the remade version and still stands up today. This obvious labour of love ups the ante immediately with a totally different tack and has all the typical Hollywood cliches all lined up (...and I don't mean that in a derogatory way!) with a total 380 turn incarcerating the drivers in a Prison race, which has been totally set up by the Government and the Warden who become the villains of the piece. Then we burn into the carnage and the visceral punch of bodies flying through the air and destruction and damage on a grand scale becomes Pay-Per-View for the masses. Bullets fly, rockets soar and boom - We get BIG BIG BIG explosions. If you want thrills and spills with lots of action then this is your baby - Totally daft but immensely enjoyable!

JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH Film Review - 5/10/08

Kicking off this basic re-make of the classic original film found me wondering if it was produced by Nickelodeon or Disney in this schmaltzy kiddie lite flick - When it was actually made by New Line Cinema - Strange to say the least? Also be aware we have the US version of Center instead of Centre with parts also filmed in 3D so we get copious shots of fish flying out of the screen, eye poking tape measures and big snapping dinosaur gobs. Even managing to name-check the original Jules Verne source book; our various motley crew of adventurers soon pitch up in Iceland, fall through a crack into the centre of the earth and have various close calls and shaves courtesy of the numerous indigenous monsters and beasties. If I was 9 years old I'm sure it would be a barrel of suspenseful laughs, with the odd jump-out-of-your-seat moment and the occasional element of high-tension akin to watching "The Land That Time Forgot" all over again. As it was; it was a gentle tale of judicious usage of CGI-backgrounds and a Brendan Fraser chockful of humour (even more so) than his usual roles, with it's Indiana Jones Mine Train rip-off to it's "Jurassic Park" moment. A colourful palette but a fairly colourless tale.